What came first, the chicken or the egg? This is how I feel sometimes about the future. When I was pulled into the world of reading tarot and astrology charts back in SF, I wasn't really completely sold on what I had to say to my customers. How was I, some kid from Sylmar, able to tell these people what was to come in their lives and how to prepare for it? I remember one vivid day, this couple came in to thank me for my reading. It turns out that the woman they were going to buy a house from was lying to them, as I had said she was, and I had helped them to uncover a bunch of fraudulent claims that she had made to them. I mean, really. I must have gotten lucky, I thought. But after that, many more occurrences transpired just like that one, and serendipity became a major player in my life. Still though, I do question every reading and feel very trepidatious, even when I get positive feedback later on. I guess it all stems from my constant questioning of whether the future really can be told. And if so, does that mean the future comes first? Or do we actually have a hand in guiding the future with our intentions in the present?

I don't know.

I like to think that it's not all predestined. I like to think that there is some ability for us to go out there and make our lives our own. But then I do see astrology play itself out in people's lives, and my confusion lingers. Could we all be living this set path and just walking the course? Perhaps even the occasional social anarchy we experience is meant to be. And if that's the case, could some of us be granted the ability to see into that path and enlighten each other. I mean, really. It's all a bit much for a Saturday morning. But so many of the people in my life go to psychics or spiritual workshops and believe. And here I am, someone who has lead such types of workshops and have given and gone for readings, and I still don't know what to believe. I am truly fascinated by those with eternal faith in something. And to think of it now, maybe that is all this blog is looking for. Something to believe in. And I know that if that's the case, then there is only one thing for me to choose.

Myself.

Because the opposite could be true, and maybe our lives are our own. And if that's the case, then one best believe in oneself. I mean, we only truly see what we believe, so we must believe we are powerful and creative and brilliant, right? Or else, we are just succumbing to a poor existence and our own "woe-is-me" business. And that really rings true for whether we are steering the ship or the ship is just like some ride at Disneyland on a track. Cause the future is coming, whether we want it to or not. And we have to look our best to greet it.

You see, questioning what came first, the future or the present, will always be a neverending query for me. Interesting to me is that some choose not to care at all. Just live and enjoy it, some say. And I fully agree with that feeling. But I also agree that the non-examined life is not worth living. "Better the devil that you know." So I will continue to look into these things, since if nothing else, it could all make for a really good movie someday. And you KNOW that I'll make it.

So let's just face it. All I really do know is that I want this future of mine to unfold with so much joy and a lot of love for everyone involved. And that includes you. So, I wish you joy today.

And good sex.

And a lot of money.

And love.

That's my reading for you. Now go get em' tiger.

What about it?