"Today is the first day of the rest of my life." In dramatic moments, usually enhanced by a good buzz, I blurt this out to tell myself that I am starting a new chapter. I want to feel like I am constantly reinventing myself in order to justify the sometimes stagnant feeling of "Groundhog Day" my life takes on. But life should not need a personal occasion or life-altering occurence to allow for the feeling of renewal. Can't everyday be cause to turn a new leaf?

Last night, at a friend's fabulous birthday party, I had a moment of new beginning. Dozens gathered around the table as he blew out his candles. He asked us all to put a wish out there and that they would all come true. As he got all the candle flames out, everyone cheered, as each successful blow was one more step to wish fulfillment for them. When he was done, there was this sense of transcendence in the room. People hugged and gave kisses. I turned to the birthday boy and whispered, "It's like New Year's Eve." He smiled and agreed. It seemed the promise of a wish come true gave everyone something to celebrate. I know for me, it did. It gave the rest of the night a sense of wonder, and I had a really great time.

Upon arriving home to my room that earlier I had been told needed a makeover, I felt the groundhog sink its teeth back in. I wandered off to sleep and awoke to the usual seven AM sound of my roommate's cat crying at my door. I got up and escorted him to the front dor so he could go out and explore the morning. I passed back out only to come in and out of a slowly growing hangover state. I finally got up and crawl;ed out to meet my writing partner for coffee. Last night's feeling of new beginning afterglow that had followed the birthday cake celebration had now given over to a heavy-lidded morning hangover. The end of the day looked like a finish line. But as we spoke and laughed, and I tried to decide what I wanted to do with myself today, I thought about my night. And I thought about how good that feeling of possibility felt. And that this morning after feeling now of "nothing's exciting in my life" was boring and redundant. Sure, there's the hangover, but there's also the friends. And the day. And the wish I made last night. Maybe if I stop looking at my life as unexciting, it will become unexciting. And maybe I'll start to recognize the great exciting things that are already in it.

I have to admit that I have been lucky, and quite a few of my childhood birthday wishes have already come true. And the ones I m waiting on, I have a pretty good feeling about. So if I can learn to translate that optimism into every moment that I have, I may have a shot at being the dope ass man I know I can be. I know it's cliche, but today IS the first day of the rest of my life. And if all I do is some shopping and SNL with a friend, then what a great way to spend my first day here on earth. It' won't just be "Well, all that I did today was..." It will be, "I had the best day today." So I guess I got some shopping to do.

What about it?