Talking to my friend Dan at work today, I had a realization: In college, for about two years, I was a lesbian. I classified myself at the time as "bisexual", because I just was not ready for the "gay" commitment. I dated a girl who was also "bisexual", so we were a perfect match. But in retrospect, we were more so of a lesbian couple. First off, she practically lived with me, where we hung out with my roommates, another lesbian couple. Being that I was vegetarian, we cooked in a lot and curled up on couches with bad television. While other blossoming gay men of my age were either pining away at the frat house or soliciting free drinks at The Cafe, I was hibernating. I attended every Lilith Fair tour there was, and I stayed till Sarah sang her final piercing note. I followed Ani Difranco around from Santa Cruz to Davis and saw her over a dozen times. And hanging out in the Castro for me was Noah's Bagels and free blueberry shmear. I mean, what can I say?

I recall one time my other roommate Francine and I sitting on the sidewalk outside of the Noah's, calmly eating our egg mits. In my mind, we looked like care-free kids to the outside world. But this guy approached us, and smiled. "You ladies looking for some weed?" In that moment, to the outside world, I became Frannie's butch Latina girlfriend. She looked at me with amused shock as I spoke up. "No thanks. We're good." The guy registered the timbre of my voice and appeared startled. "Oh okay. Sorry." Though Frannie and I shared a laugh, inside I felt this strange adolescent cringe within my body. It was not long after that that I came out, broke up with my girlfriend, and began losing weight and bettering my appearance. See, back then, I had no facial hair, was pretty overweight, and had bleached hair, so I could see how this guy could have mistaken me. And I tell you, I see pictures now and I wish my friends had said something. But then I know that they probably didn't know any better either.

I really think this random incident did awaken me to a disconnect I had created for my self. By having been so physically rejected in high school and thus having had no real connection to my sexuality, I had repressed myself completely to the opposite spectrum. By becoming a lesbian, I was placing myself in the kindest of company. These ladies did not see me as sexually desirable. They just saw me for me, and that was certainly valuable for my transition into sexual acceptance. I was able to greater understand myself, and in turn others, which is so important to me now, as well as all of the creative work I plan on doing in the future.

I am now a gay man. And I love it. I have thanked the heavens for this strangely profound and amazing gift. It has taught me humility. Versatility. Patience. Endurance. Compassion. How to dress. It's great. But most importantly, having accepted my sexuality has brought me closer to the core of who I am. I feel I can express myself now with more clarity, and I am a thousand times more comfortable in my skin.

Every now and then, I do relapse. I find Jessica Alba sexy. And I put Ani on and cry. You can take the girl out of the Michigan Women's Festival, but you can't take the Women's Michigan Festival out of the girl.

What about it?