Three weeks from today is my birthday. A lot of people don't like to make a big deal out of celebrating. I mean last night, we were out celebrating a friend's birthday and when cupcakes adorned with candles were brought out, I thought he was going to douse the flames in his vodka and cause an explosion. Another friend of mine particularly asked for us not"to make a fuss", as it's just another day and birthdays come every year. Now as far as I am concerned, birthdays are a day to jump up and down and rejoice.

You see, I love me some life. Ever since two days after my birthday five years ago, when I was hit by a car and told by doctors that my survival was miraculous, I look to my birthday as a way to give gratitude for my existence. Sure I got debt, a paycheck not worth hollering about, and have been eternally single since my exposure from the womb, but I still got to say, "Hey. Here is one more chance at greatness."

For the past few years, I have had some party cooking or a big dinner gathering in mind. And a couple of years ago, my friends threw me a surprise party which ended up being chaotic but fun. However, this year, I am stumped, and I am wondering if my usual excitement is dwindling.

I am going to be 29 years old, and I don't have a clue on how to ring in my New Year.

I remember growing up, my mother was always very good about throwing me a party. She would make sure to book the mini golf place ahead of time or always got a bunch of bowling lanes. One year, she took all of my friends on a movie excursion to see Beetlejuice. Birthdays then were days that I just awoke to with an itinerary. It was like being a model on a shoot - cottage cheese at 7, make-up/hair at 8, followed by wardrobe - it was so much easier. Now, it's evites and scheduling and competing parties and events to work around. I can't handle it all really. Not to mention the fact that you have to decide on where to have it and what to have - and who to invite based on who will actually show. Can't I just be rich and hire a party planner please? I have even toyed this year with throwing a joint party with a few different people, which could be great. But then, time is a'ticking and they are not a'planning, and I don't want to be pushy.

So perhaps I should just let it go. Perhaps this year is not about me trying to create some big old monument of a moment. I have realized more lately about how controlling I can be, even in the most subtle of ways. I could really just try being more open and let the idea flow in.

Any suggestions?

There's always the mini golf/bowling world of kiddie parties. Madge goes to the roller-rink in her new video. Maybe I should too. Or perhaps I should just take a vacation from work, stay in all week, and hit up a different Sex and The City season on DVD each day. I mean, I wonder what Carrie Bradshaw did for her 29th.

I know. She's not real. But a man can grab inspiration from even the slightest of places.

What about it?