In high school, I was voted "Sweetest".

Sure my name sort of lends itself to a gentle disposition. And I think being teased as a kid forced me to overcompensate with kindness as I got older, so that I could deflect any sort of negative behavior from coming at me. But now that I am adult, I am beginning to see that this whole "nice guy" thing can at times be a tiny bit of a detriment. Luckily, I am in the training ground of the business we know of as Hollywood, so Maria at NAICC is unfortunately getting my untested wrath.

See, some guy in a disgustingly large Ram hit my parked car when I wasn't around last year. His good samaritan girlfriend forced him to leave a note and take responsibility for his actions. I know this because weeks later when he finally showed up at my place with a few drinks in him, he told me. "I would have just kept driving if she hadn't made me stop." I was pissed, but I still found gratitude that he had stopped. I thanked him and sent him on his way.

Now, a couple of months later, I finally have my car back, but his crappy insurance company - again NAICC - refusues to cover all of the costs incurred. And given my "sweet" demeanor and outlook on the world, I had already fronted my bank card information as a back up, "in case the insurance refused to pay." I was assured that rarely happens. Well, it has. And almost nine hundred dollars are now gone from my account. From my life. From my new birthday outfit fund.

I want to bomb the NAICC. And I want to be mean.

I think back to about five years ago when I was hit by a car speeding off the freeway on Laguna St. back in SF. It was a total hit and run, and I was lucky to come out of it alive. But a week later, as I laid in bed recovering, my friend came in to see me and asked me how mad I must be. I said not really. I was just glad to be okay. These things happen. She was furious at me. "You need to get mad", she said. "What good does that do me now. The person who hit me is not here." But she felt that if I didn't get mad now and at least let that energy out, it was gonna show itself later. I mean, what did she want me to do? Was I supposed to be hitting the therapy pillow?

Well, talking to Maria from this idiot's insurance company, I get what she was saying. To a degree. I get that anger is good when channeled properly. And that if it causes someone to not like you, then so be it. They are in the wrong, and I don't like them or what they stand for anyway. Being "sweet" can sort of cause you to be a human doormat, and that sucks. The fact that they want me to pay for something I had no contribution to is completely ludicrous.

However, I also understand my belief in "kill them with kindness". I mean I am no Gandhi. I do know that when someone gets angry at me, I just want to see them suffer more. My ego gets in the way, and it can just sometimes cause more problems for everyone. So how does one handle this situation?

I told her to go talk to the shop and see if they can fight it out. And God bless me if I have to take them to small claims court, because I don't know if I have the energy to deal with that. I mean, is it worth it? Can I get that angry? And if Maria is there in person, will I be tempted to hit a lady? I have been a nice guy and "sweet" for so long that I wonder if as thirty approaches, I am awakening to a new me.

I mean, let's just say that if I had the chance to meet the person who hit me five years ago, causing me the permanent damage I have now to my knees, and found out that "it" was a "she", she would get at least a slap from this Mr Van Nuys High "Sweetest" 1995.

Therapy pillow anyone?

What about it?