I've been writing since I was a very little kid. My mother still has the book that I wrote when I was like nine - I think it was like some graphic horror story where kids were being murdered one by one in a house. Oh, those were the light care-free days, weren't they?

As I got into high school and college, I began to write plays and found myself pretty skilled at it. I had a knack for the dialogue, as I like to listen to people and analyze conversation. I later segued into screenplay writing, but I just never felt like I had the necessary drive for it. And I would beat myself up about it too. How was I to become the person I was meant to be if I wasn't writing? Well now, having worked my way into a job where I read scripts, I have come to a grateful reconciliation with it all. Maybe I am not meant to be a screenwriter. And if that fact is true, then it's okay.

Of course, as this blog proves, I do love to write. A friend and I are also looking into collaborating as a team on some ideas. It's just completely in my soul to wed words. I mean, really. A graphic novel at age 9. And now that I read at least a script a day, I see how many good stories there are out there and just how hard it is to tell one. Ideas are abundant, but good translation is not. So for me, the thought of getting to have a job where I help writers convey their ideas and their emotions seems really rather brilliant. I mean, I always loved directing for that reason, because it allowed me to be the conduit between different sources of creativity. And with this career, I can do that, but on a completely larger-scale level. So I think I am at the beginning of exactly where I want to be. Sure, I am still scheduling meetings and answering phones. But I am now right outside the door instead of back somewhere in the crowd. I like that. And I also like that in life, I could easily be wrong, and I could still become a writer. I am certainly excited in a way that I never have been to see what's in store for me.

So today will be the first day of a new year. One where I will not look to judge myself and whether I am a success or not. The fact that just two years ago I saw myself as a complete failure is so disheartening to me. I am no failure. I am like Keira Knightley's Lizzie Bennett in "Pride & Prejudice", when she stood on the cliff overlooking the world. Her life.



Not looking for the clouds that haven't rolled in yet. Or the stories behind scars that I have collected along my way to the cliff's edge. Instead, just taking a clean, crisp breath of fresh air. And loving it.

Now if only I could be her in the scene where she gets to make out with Matthew McFadyen.

Ah, tomorrow is another day.

What about it?