So at the end of a relatively wonderful date the other day, the moment I like to think of as "Kiss or Goodbye" occurred. This is when the two of you are having a good time and there is nothing but intimacy left, so either the two of you have to embrace it without fear, or embrace fear and flea. However, this particular time I had the pleasure of playing "Kiss, Goodbye, or Discuss".

Basically, the question came up of intentions and what mine were. I made him go first. He stated that he was not looking for something "serious serious, but that he wasn't opposed to sex." Well, what gay man isn't? And what does "serious serious" refer to? We can date, but not get too emotionally attached and exclusivity isn't necessary? I wasn't sure, and in the moment, I didn't think to ask. But I did remember going to see this reader last year who told me I was on the verge of meeting a "life partner." That I was looking for that right now. And that is true. So her words rose in my head as I thought to respond to him.

Was I willing to settle for just one "serious"? I could have just went for the fun way out and said, "That sounds good." I mean, he was cute there lying next to me, his head mashed into a pillow on the makeshift floor couch. And there was this unavoidable feeling all day of familiarity that just resonated beyond any physical attraction. So a roll around and a good makeout wouldn't be awful. But I didn't. I said that we appeared to be looking for different things, and then I put my shoes on, gave him a hug, and I left. I called up my friend who was just getting ready for bed, but who is always ready to be roused. I picked him up, and we went for a churro and then a beer, and managed to shared far too many laughs to recount. I told the story to him and asked, "What do you think he meant by something not "serious serious"?" He responded with, "He was probably just looking for a regular f**k buddy." And in the world of gay sex and dating, that very well could be right. In so much of my dating experience, there is a lot of, "I can't handle an emotional attachment right now" or "I don't know what I want right now." Is it all just code for, "I was hoping you just wanted to mess around"?

I am looking for the single word serious. Not immediate wedding bells or a trip to meet the folks. But someone I can rely on to find me across a crowded room at a moment's notice. Who doesn't need to have a discussion with me before a kiss can happen. And certainly who isn't looking to me to just be a "regular" anything or isn't attracted to me solely because of the fact that I'm Latin or because I wear dark-rimmed glasses.

They say it comes when you are not looking and least expect it. I however am an eternal romantic, and I wonder if the few of my breed ever stop looking. I can certainly let the search go. There are plenty of other aspects in my life to focus on, so my gaze on romance has shifted for time being. I mean for one thing, 29 is so soon, and I don't have a thing to wear.

What about it?