So I write in bulk and then I take like a month off. Does that mean I don't have the discipline to be a writer? I don't know. But let's not waste time on that.

What's going on?

We had the holidays, where I ate WAY too much - to the point where walking hurt. I saw some movies of so-so caliber. Then some I thought were of high caliber. And then one that I felt was FLAWLESS. I mean, if you have not seen this film yet, GO! If Helen Mirren had burst into "And I'm Telling You I'm Not Going", it would have been this year's perfect performance in the best film of the year by far. Still without that, she is destined for the Oscar, and the film deserves multiple kudos more. With that, Dreamgirls, and Babel now leading the pack, it's going to be a great Oscar year.

In other news, I have insomnia. Which I have never had. I mean, there have been some sleepless nights. But this has been kinda ridiculous. Waking up at 4 AM and being in this weird half-awake sleep state, where I feel like I am asleep, but I can also hear the noises of the house. Bizarre. I'm starting to feel like Emily fucking Rose every time I look at the dreaded alarm clock in the middle of the night. Last night, my good friend Uz cut my hair and gave me some sleepy aid herbs. No, not weed. Though one site I did research about insomnia treatment listed cannabis as a "modern method" of treatment. It's like ecstasy for depression. Well, I'm not ready to go down the toking every night before bed road, but the herbs he gave me did relax me. "Are you stressed?", is what everyone keeps asking me. And the answer is, "of course!" But aren't we all? How does everyone else cope? Yoga? Meditation? Masturbation? I'm open to all sleepful suggestions.

I think the greatest stress for me right now is the screenplay group that I have recently helped to form. I have realized that it's my first attempt at anything personally creative in about two years, so I think my unconscious anxiety is getting the best of me. I get these flashbacks to college, where I wrote and wrote and wrote with ease. And I know that in these two years, I have studied and read many scripts and met some of the most prolific filmmakers and writers of our time. I mean, I have talked to these people in person and asked them about their process. I am EXCITED by the whole thing. So, all of this must be why I am concurrently PETRIFIED at the same time to commit to anything on paper. Cause, it's fear of failure. LAME. I know. Get over it. Move on. At least, I tell myself that, as do my closest friends. And they are right. I am right. Get over it, yo. Cause, "You're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't."

"Shit or get off the pot."

"What a feeling is believing."

All of that. I DO have the discipline to be a writer. And the talent. Now I just got to find the balls.

Like Gwen. Yodeling. Sound of Music.



I mean.

Balls.

I love it.

Why be afraid?

I'm inspired.

What about it?

So, if you care anything about astrology, this may be interesting. Otherwise, it may just be some ramblin' mumbo-jumbo.

There is a whole lot going on in Scorpio right now. For the every man (or woman), Wikipedia says for Scorpio that it is "the eighth sign of the Zodiac and associated with intensity and power." It also states that "individuals born under this sign are thought to have a complex, emotional, analytical, focused, determined, hypnotic, and self-contained character, but one which is also prone to extremity, jealousy, possessiveness, stubbornness, and cruelty." I mean, what's not to love? In all seriousness, Scorpios are one of my favorite people, and I have many in my tribe. My dad is one. I have lived with a couple and worked for a few. So having five planets that are traveling through that sign right now is certainly affecting me in an overwhelming way, but it is an energy I am incredibly familiar with.

The Sun, Mercury, Venus, Mars, and Jupiter are all making their way through Scorpio, so depending on where you have it in your chart, the intense emotional energy is affecting you differently. If you don't know your way around a chart and know your time, date, and place, it can all be looked at. I have been giving readings to Scorpios left and right lately, and it's been so interesting to see how this cluster is affecting them all so differently. And just everyone I know in general.

Astrology can be such an amazing tool for understanding oneself and the cycles of our life. Why certain aspects of our lives come up at certain times and how we can be moving forward as opposed to moving in a wheel, hamster-style. Sure, I see why some people choose not to believe. But my belief is based solely on hard facts that I have encountered consistently with astrology. And I also think that choosing to believe is so much more in alignment with choosing to live a life that is open and full of possibility realized.

At least that's what I'm banking on.

Back to the Scorpio conference, which for me is taking place in my sixth house, the house of health, fitness, and day-to-day routine. I actually was out of touch with the whole Scorpio, five-planet deal when I decided to switch my gym routine to mornings in order to be more committed and more flexible with my evenings. I also just felt like I needed to transform my daily routine and shake things up a bit. I was feeling the stasis. Then I read about the planet cluster a few days later, and it all made sense to me why I would turn things upside-down like that. And that knowledge in turn helped me to strengthen my commitment to the change, and I have been going every morning. I mean, when the stars say, "jump", I'm all like, "are you ready?"

So, don't deny the the energy. It's out there. And don't question it either. The better you work with it, the more smooth the transition. As I said, Scorpio is intense. And when provoked, stings. So get emotional. Cry. Get focused. Freak out. Get serious. Say, "I'm sorry." And when you least expect it, the planets will part and you'll see the sun shine on this whole new land you've created. And by jove, it will be beautiful, for it will be you.

I mean...

What about it?